Category: EFT Blog

A few weeks ago a group of advanced EFT practitioners met together to do a live supervision session using a bug-in-the-ear. If you’re not familiar with the process, the therapist conducts the session in an office with her couple as usual, but with the addition of a blue-tooth earpiece and cell phone while the rest of the group watches a video feed in another room. I was giving the therapist suggestions based on her goals for the session. She had the option to come out at some point for in-session feedback, though in this case she came out only towards the end to get the group’s affirmations and appreciations of the couple, which she then shared with them. It’s a powerful way to learn EFT: the therapist gets in-the-moment guidance and can see its impact in real time. She can also note areas to improve such as heightening emotion or deepening enactments. The therapist, by the way, did a great job: she helped the couple shift their pattern more and began the withdrawer re-engagement process.

So how is this related to positive emotions? Well, the couple – who hadn’t met with the therapist for several weeks – came in saying they’d been getting along well. They underscored their progress with examples of reduced conflict and more closeness. It was clear they felt good about the shift to more interactions in their cycle. Sounds good, right? The shift sounded genuine and although they weren’t ending therapy, they were reaping some benefits of their hard work, not to mention the therapist’s expertise.

But now what? Even though we all appreciate it, sometimes it can be a challenge to work with progress and positive emotions,. One risk is the couple and therapist don’t find a real entry point for the session – we’re generally guided by what Les Greenberg refers to as the ‘pain compass’ to help establish a focus – so while everyone enjoys the moment, there isn’t much real progress. Another, less common risk is they see themselves as finished with therapy even though they haven’t yet completed the Stage 2 change processes of Withdrawer Re-engagement and Blamer Softening. But the most common risk is a lost opportunity to help the couple see that they often deal with positive primary emotions similarly to how they deal with negative primary emotion: they don’t express it, or if they do, it’s in a muted way that doesn’t fully engage the partner.

Back to the live session: here’s what happened. We took the positive emotions and placed them in their cycle. Remember, the cycle isn’t just about the specific emotions expressed, it’s also how they engage with each other. First the therapist expanded and heightened the positive experience – joy, relief and pleasure – just like we do with painful experience. Something like, “After all this time of struggling with your cycle and so often feeling cut off, it must be an enormous relief to enjoy your renewed closeness.” Then she asked an essential question, “When you’re feeling all that warmth and pleasure how do you tell each other?” The answer, essentially, ‘Well we don’t really’.

It’s not surprising. When partners become cautious about expressing hurt because they haven’t felt safe and accepted during the hard times, they often feel similar caution about expressing positive feelings. The partner might see it very differently – that nothing has really changed; or may say, yes there’s been change, but not nearly enough, or it’s taken too long. And just as there’s risk in sharing positive emotion – think of it as a bid for connection and intimacy – the listening partner takes a risk too. They wonder if it can be trusted; if it can bear the weight of discussion and maybe a few missteps as they’re just beginning to see tender expressions of vulnerability. Why these doubts? The key questions remain: Is there enough safety to share vulnerability? Can partners trust enough to drop their guard and let each other in? Will they see themselves as weak if they talk about how much they need each other?

The therapist’s task here is to validate and affirm new, positive experiences while helping them slow down and marinate in the healthy pride of changing stubborn patterns. But she needs to also recognize the risks they face in deeper intimacy, often coming after either a single relationship-threatening event or a longer period of conflict or distance. It helps in these moments to first, note the impact of the positive changes on the couple’s cycle and then guide partners to deeper intimacy by creating enactments based on the positive experiences. This is not “EFT light” though: It can be real work for couple and therapist alike and it builds a platform from which they take further risks with each other.

Getting back to the live session, it was interesting how after twenty minutes or so of working with the positive emotions, the therapist returned to their core cycle, heightened the primary emotions of the withdrawer, created a solid enactment and processed the pursuer’s response. Working with positive emotions didn’t take away from the session – it increased access to the painful emotions that needed to be accepted and expressed.
Till next time…
Jeff

Last month, we started EFT Advanced Core Skills series in both Minneapolis/St. Paul and Detroit and having the sessions just a week apart helped me finally clarify how to teach an essential element in helping couples de-escalate: In early sessions the therapist has to frequently and smoothly shift the focus from the cycle, to the emotional impact of the cycle, back to the cycle and so forth. It sounds simple, but requires deft balance between two different focal points. Think of a violinist, whose left hand moves quickly up and down the fingerboard, each finger precisely placed to produce distinct pitches, while the right hand holds a bow that often moves at a completely different pace. Left and right hands work together to produce the intricate beauty of a Vivaldi concerto. Not too unlike an EFT therapist’s dual focus on cycles and emotions.

In initial sessions, partners usually recognize the basics of their conflict cycle, especially how they get triggered by each other. They also usually talk about how frustrated or discouraged they’re feeling about the relationship. The harder part? Linking the two. In the recent Core Skills sessions we drilled on this theme a lot and here’s how we did it. We helped partners identify their cycle, note the emotional impact of the cycle, then as they talk about that impact we place it back in the cycle. And as we place it back in the cycle we focus anew on the emotional impact. Hear the shifting focus? As we alternately clarify the cycle and access primary emotions, couples get clearer not only on what they do, but also the emotions that both contribute to and result from their interaction. After all, while emotions fuel reactivity in the moment, that reactivity elicits more emotions and so forth. Often, the more challenging part is to help partners see the cycle while also accessing and identifying the primary emotions that help feed the cycle.

It might look like this. Hal talks about the lack of quality time he has with Brenda and how when he brings it up she usually defends and responds with her own complaint about needing support with the kids and other tasks. Brenda then describes feeling burdened by a demanding job plus most of the parenting responsibility and that she harbors resentment about not getting more help – a very typical cycle. The therapist starts by noting the between with a basic description of their cycle: When Hal asks for more one-on-one time, Brenda feels criticized and defends herself, but then follows up with a complaint of her own about being asked to give even more while still needing his support. Hal then feels blamed and believes his wish for more connection is unheard or even unimportant to Brenda.

Considering the impact of the cycle on each partner, the therapist begins to subtly shift to within. He might ask Hal, “How has it felt to wish for more contact with Brenda while doubting your importance to her?” Or he might ask Brenda, “Can you say more about that burdened, lonely feeling, when you’ve asked for, but not gotten the support you’re needing?”  Better yet, the therapist does each in turn, helping each talk in more detail about where they hurt, emphasizing experiences of feeling unimportant to or not accepted by the other.

They’re beginning to express a little of the primary emotion that’s so often hidden in conflict cycles and now it’s time to shift back to the between. Important as it is to acknowledge these primary feelings, the focus shifts to what they do with them? So the therapist asks Brenda, “What do you do with your lonely, burdened feeling? How do you talk about it with Hal?” When she says she’s given up on that because it just led to more conflict, the therapist places her unshared hurt back in the cycle. “As you’ve given up on expressing your hurt and loneliness, you show more of the resentment and Hal no longer hears you needing his support. Instead he sees what looks like a sort of wall between you.” As Brenda experiences the hurt in the moment, she’s beginning to experientially appreciate that while dealing with it by shutting it away helps her cope, it likely makes it harder for Hal to see it. And Hal gets a glimpse of the hurt side of Brenda – not just the frustration that often disguises it.

Later on, the therapist places Hal’s rejection and loneliness back in the cycle. “As Brenda feels unsupported, you start to push harder for a response, to feel like you matter. And what’s happening for you behind the pushing?” Hal says he knows he sounds critical, but in addition to the frustration starts to feel bad about himself, wondering what it says about him as a husband. The therapist reflects his self-doubt and hurt while again, placing it back in the cycle. “I guess pushing might be your way of dealing with the doubt about your importance to Brenda. It’s hard to tell her directly, so instead you push and criticize, which just increases the tension and distance between you.”  Once again the emerging primary emotion gets heard and experienced by both partners, shedding some light on the conflict cycle.

By maintaining a focus on both the cycle itself and the emotional impact of the cycle partners are gaining clarity about their conflict pattern and how they typically deal with it. They’re hearing – and more importantly, experiencing – the distinction between the vulnerable primary emotion they feel, but often don’t express, and the secondary reactions of blame and retreat they typically see in each other.  The rewarding part for me is that it not only helps me makes sense of their conflict cycle, but they’re getting it as well.

I’ve always struggled with prescribing homework for couples. First, nobody likes doing it. Second, it can be difficult to know how to follow up when it isn’t done, or even attempted.  Finally, while it’s a typical feature of more behaviorally oriented approaches – and I’ve been giving much more homework since learning sex therapy – it’s often not so prominent in experiential models. I’ve been studying and practicing EFT for over 10 years and homework as a part of the therapy process wasn’t talked about in trainings much until relatively recently.  It’s not surprising since the roots and process of EFT are so strongly experiential. You can see it in the interventions: we evoke emotion in the moment; we heighten primary emotions – especially those related to vulnerability; we set up enactments to bring alive partners’ experience of each other. We also focus on in-session process, tracking partners’ responses to each other, what draws them in and what leads them to pull away or attack. And we ask about cycles of conflict and distance outside the session, in an effort to understand how partners ask for and respond to each other’s needs. But one of the perennial challenges is helping couples take all that great experiential work out into the world and use it to slow down cycles, take risks to be more vulnerable and continue the process of strengthening their attachment bonds.

Before telling you about some excellent EFT-oriented books to add to your current resources, here are a couple of suggestions. They’re appropriate for almost any couple.

• At the close of the initial session, ask partners to have a brief chat in the next day or two about how they felt about their session. Suggest they not revisit conflict points from the session, rather this is about how they felt about meeting with you, your style and approach and anything they particularly like or disliked. In addition to creating a structured interaction, it helps set the tone for monitoring and strengthening the alliance.
• Also at the close of the first session or subsequent stage one sessions, suggest basic awareness work. Ask them to notice how their cycle starts and progresses, and how they get out of it – if they do. Can they identify a vulnerable emotion related to hurt or fear underneath their typical pursuit or withdrawal – even if they choose not to share it at that moment? They get bonus points for being able to actually interrupt the pattern.
• Standing homework for my couples is to revisit a particularly poignant moment of connection that occurred in the session. I’ll often flag this for them in stage two by asking, for example, a re-engaged withdrawer to remind the pursuing partner what it meant and how it felt to hear the more vulnerable primary emotions. It helps build familiarity and comfort with sharing deeply and carries their bonding out of the office and into their lives.

A few suggestions about giving homework: It’s essential to have clients’ buy-in, so co-create it. If it isn’t meaningful after they leave the office they’re far less likely to do it. Suggest it as a way to speed treatment progress and give them time to comment on and fine tune your suggestions.  Many couples need to start small, so build on what you’re doing in the office and see if they can reprise that work or take it just a step further. Suggesting homework, but not asking about it at the next session tells clients it’s not important. There may be great reasons to start with more immediate concerns, but be sure to come back to the homework.

Now for those resources:

• First are Sue Johnson’s enrichment books, Love Sense (2013) and Hold Me Tight (2008). Love Sense emphasizes reflection and guided imagery that helps individuals increase their awareness of the role of attachment bonds ruptures and other experiences across their life span. Hold Me Tight is anchored by the conversations couples are directed to have to help slow down cycles, identify ‘raw spots’, repair relationship injuries, discuss sex concerns and needs, etc. Both are great resources for couples in treatment. I’ve also had a number of people call seeking EFT after reading one of Sue’s books.
• Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy for Dummies (2013), by EFT trainers and researchers Brent Bradley and Jim Furrow, is typical of the Dummies series: very clear points in simple language, tips and activities and the narrative sections are kept brief.  Many men in particular appreciate its concise, directive suggestions and homework. Another strength of this book is its focus on how emotions arise and unfold in the context of couple conflict and bonding. I’d say it focuses more on emotion than the attachment aspect of EFT.
• EFT trainers Veronica Kallos-Lilly and Jenny Fitzgerald’s brand new book, An Emotionally Focused Workbook for Couples (2014) is, according to the publisher, ‘intended for couples currently working with an EFT therapist and follows the course of treatment so it can be integrated into the therapy’. The material and assignments are presented in a clearly structured way so couples can remain focused on the role of attachment in couple distress.

As you can see, there’s a growing pool of resources available to support couples’ work outside of therapy to integrate what they’re learning in therapy. Please share your own ideas and I’ll follow up with a list of additional suggestions and resources. It’s an important – and often neglected – way to increase the potency of what we already do so well.

Till next time,

Jeff

PS. A reminder that the 2014-15 Core Skills Series begins October 10 & 11. You can still get in on the Early Bird Discount if you register and pay by September 12. More info here.

I learned a new word at the Chicago Externship I co-led a few months ago with Lisa Palmer-Olsen of San Diego: “attachify”. Lisa first heard it from Dan Kim, an EFT therapist and colleague, but who knows, it may have been invented by others as well. Sometimes we just need a verb to cut straight to the heart of the matter.

If you’ve studied EFT, then you likely know what it means. And if you’ve had EFT supervision, you definitely know. Most of my supervision sessions include at least one suggestion to add more attachment-rich words, phrases or images to all the basic interventions – reflection, validation, tracking cycles, evocative response and heightening we all do.

Why is it so important?  Well first, it naturally captures a relational meaning. We’re explicitly talking about one partner’s hurt, loneliness and sadness in a relational context and tracking or highlighting the impact it has on the other. Attachment language also helps orient clients to the key focal points of EFT: the emotions related to vulnerability and the related need to feel securely attached, both of which fuel so many couples’ negative interaction cycles. It also often includes metaphors and images, often a shortcut to heart-felt meaning, and a key way to help clients access and experience emotions in the moment. Finally, clarifying and heightening attachment significance helps build empathy: partners are hearing the impact they have on each other, especially as it relates to the sense of belonging, safety and feeling cared about.

Attachify – verb, intransitive, \ə-ˈtach\ə\fī\: to reflect, heighten, etc. clients’ experience with words or images that evoke or recognize the basic human need for closeness and connection, especially in close, intimate relationships. Here are a couple of examples. As you read them, compare the therapist’s two possible responses and note the difference.

Sally has felt distance in her marriage to Jim for years, but it increased after a recent cancer diagnosis and treatment. She says, “I never know what’s going on with you, how to read you. You went through the cancer treatment last year and I tried to be supportive, but had no idea how you felt until I overheard you talking with your Dad about how worried you were.”

Therapist: I guess you must worry when you see him go through something this significant and don’t know how he’s feeling on the inside, and harder yet to hear of it’s impact in this indirect way. And it makes sense this is important to you; couples tend to do better when they can share these experiences together.

Not a bad reflection, right? It captures the gist of her concern, validates a bit and recognizes the importance of attachment in times of threat and uncertainty. Now have a look at the attachified version.

I guess you must worry when you see him go through such a threatening experience and feel like you’re not part of his inner world; that you’re not the partner he shares his needs, and maybe his fears with. I imagine you might feel like you’re on the outside when you’d most like to be at his side, sharing his fears with him.

Hear the difference? How it evokes and builds on Sally’s words and emphasizes proximity, inclusion and accessibility at a time of vulnerability? For added impact try reading the two responses out loud and track your own emotional response. Or try imagining yourself as Sally and see if the second feels more attuned and evocative. Here’s another example:

Len has been hesitant to commit to his partner, Doug. He rarely initiates physical affection and tends to be emotionally closed as well. The therapist encourages him, via an enactment, to tell Doug directly about the emotions that help maintain the distance, the blocks to engagement. He says, “I do have a hard time opening up and being vulnerable. Sometimes I don’t try because I doubt that I even know how to be close. What if I try and fail? What will that say to you about me – about us together? So I do hang back and wait. And I know you’re disappointed and I feel even worse.”

Therapist: Len, It’s important that you’re telling him this, about your doubts about yourself and your fear of failure. It’s a big part of what has held you back from committing. No wonder you’ve kept this to yourself, not wanting him to be disappointed or to feel disappointed in yourself. So then you get cautious and retreat, not telling him about your doubt and fear and in the end feel even worse about yourself.

Now, an attachified version:

Therapist: You see Doug, longing for more closeness and connection with you, yes? But then the fear sets in; fear that you’ll reach out to him and get it wrong or won’t do enough to tell him how much he means to you and how scary it is to let him in. So you hang back, hoping to spare him the disappointment; wanting not to be a disappointment to him. And this distance between you opens up once again, leaving you both feeling separated and alone. Do I have this right?

Again, the first response has several key well-timed interventions: affirmation, validation, a bit of tracking the cycle, reframing. Do you notice the emphasis on attachment in the second example? Imagine yourself as Doug; does the attachified example draw you in more, evoke more compassion, help you lower your guard?

So I can imagine some folks saying, ok, I get it, but how do I get better at this? First, remember the attachment lens when listening, reflecting, etc. It’s often the disconnection resulting from conflict that’s most distressing for partners. Think about the impact of disengagement as partners express their concerns and complaints. Second, use your own experience in the moment when listening. Our own well-attuned empathic gut can be a powerful amplifier of client emotion. And watch your session videos. When there’s less pressure to respond in the moment, we all find it easier to attune and generate what we wish we’d said. Finally, come up with a few key phrases and images that capture the spirit of attachment for you and write them down. Every model of therapy has its own vocabulary and it will help to have some words and phrases to help you attachify your interventions.

If you’re interested, send me some of your own examples of how you attachify your interventions – there are many ways to do it. I’ll share them in a future post.

Till next time,

Jeff

The dates are set for Chicago Core Skills, your chance to learn, practice and sharpen your EFT skills with couples! Over the course of four 2-day sessions, we work through EFT, step by step, to deepen your understanding and integrate the skills that help you become more effective in your EFT practice. Each weekend includes focused discussion, review of stage-specific session videos, demonstrations of interventions, extended role play practice sessions and case consultations utilizing participant session videos (each participant presents one time over the course of the four sessions). If you are ready for advanced learning in EFT, this is the best next step. This is advanced EFT training and requires previous completion of an ICEEFT-endorsed Externship. Since each successive weekend builds on the preceding one, participants are expected to attend all four sessions.

A few participant comments over the past year:

• “I wanted to thank you again for all you do and did to make Core Skills the valuable experience it was. I am grateful for all I learned and the experience shared with so many. It, without doubt, will and has informed and improved my work.”
• “Very supportive. Nice specifics. Nice gentle feedback, helpful critiques. You’re good at making this seem possible!”
• “I’m very inspired by this work, love your teaching, and look forward to the next one in Feb.”
• “Excellent balance of challenge and support.”
• “The Core Skills helped me learn so much and gave me the experience of trying things, both in the role play and in viewing our efforts on tape. But my thank you is that you are a great, really great teacher, and I am most grateful. You made it safe to try, to experiment ,to question, and you were always supportive.” 

The dates:

October 10-11, 2014

December 5-6, 2014

February 6-7, 2015

April 17-18, 2015

All trainings take place at the Hilton Garden Inn in Evanston. For more information and to register:

Complete description of Core Skills

EFT Certification

Hi Everyone – hope you’re all enjoying a glorious Summer! I’m writing about some upcoming trainings in the area this Fall that are worthy of special consideration.

Dr. Barry McCarthy is a long time sex therapist and author of numerous clinical and self-help books and journal articles on a wide range of sex-related topics, including Rekindling Desire and Men’s Sexual Health. His Good-Enough model, primarily a cognitive-behavioral approach, also includes a strong relational focus. I’ve attended several of Dr. McCarthy’s presentations and always find him to be a clear, knowledgeable presenter who addresses careful multi-dimensional assessment of sexual difficulties. This is a great opportunity to learns some basics of sex therapy. He’s presenting 1-day workshops in the area on September 11 and 12, presented by PESI. Get more info at pesi.com .

The Family Institute and its Alumni Association are hosting Dr. Donald Baucom on September 12^th. He’ll be speaking on infidelity, one of his many couple therapy research topics. He’s a co-author of one of my favorite books on working with infidelity, Helping Couples Get Past the Affair, and the self-help version, Getting Past the Affair, both of which lay out an empirically investigated cognitive-behavioral 3-stage model for working with marital distress related to infidelity. More info is available at family-institute.org/fallconference .

Dr. Joe Kort will be in the area October 6 through 8 presenting 1-day workshops on working with gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender clients. Dr. Kort is the author of Gay Affirmative Therapy for the Straight Clinician, a well-respected overview of how to work more effectively with gay clients. He has a practice in Ann Arbor, MI and was one of the featured speakers at the University of Michigan sex therapy training program I completed last year. He’s an informative and engaging speaker. More info is available at pesi.com .

Finally, I’ll be presenting a 1-day Introduction to Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy at Trinity International University’s Fall Counseling Conference in Deerfield on October 31^st. I regularly get inquiries from local therapists asking about introductory talks on EFT; this is an excellent opportunity for therapists only marginally familiar with the model to get an overview of the theory and interventions. Visit divinity.tiu.edu/counseling-conference/ to get more info.

Enjoy your Summer!

Jeff

I recently came across this short excerpt from a video interview conducted by Rich Simon of the Psychotherapy Networker with Dr. Dan Hughes, the creator of Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy. Hughes developed DDP for working with traumatized children to help them “establish a secure attachment with his/her caregivers”. I’ve seen him present on his work several times; it’s impressive and inspiring. Much of his therapeutic use of self is easily adapted to our work with couples, especially his careful attunement to clients’ emotions.

In this three minute video, Hughes succinctly describes how he uses not only his felt sense of the child’s experience, but also the emotional impact it has on him in the moment to create safety, a shared understanding and co-regulation of affect. The result, says Hughes, is that the negative emotions are ‘experienced in a new way, with new meaning’. Sound familiar from your EFT training? The video is a little grainy, but you’ll get the idea. Let me know what you think.

I’d never heard the word ‘externship’ before starting my own EFT training over 10 years ago and it’s still not a word I hear much outside of EFT circles.  Wikipedia defines it as an ‘experiential learning opportunity’ that gives ‘short, practical experience in a field of study’. I think of it as a relatively brief, but deep immersion in EFT that helps you understand the model both cognitively and experientially so you can practice it in your work.

The Externship is a 4-day intensive training in the theory, treatment process and interventions of Emotionally Focused Therapy with couples. We cover the roots of EFT as a humanistic, experiential and systemic model, the influence of adult attachment theory and treatment techniques that help you work with emotion to help your couples shift from distress to secure engagement. Our goal is to have you finish the training with the knowledge and skills needed to implement EFT in your clinical work. Between us, Lisa and I have done dozens of externships and we’re constantly looking for new ways to bring the ideas and skills alive for participants.

We follow a basic plan of describe – demonstrate – practice to help you get EFT in your head and in your heart. We also teach experientially: we’re speaking to your right brain too. In fact this is often the way therapists get a personalized, intuitive grasp of how attachment and emotions shape relationships.

First the description. The first day is the most didactically oriented as we lay the foundation for understanding couple distress through an attachment lens and give you an overview of the process and key interventions of the model. Over the next three days, we build on this, by providing more details on the course of treatment, how EFT works actively with emotion and the three key change events: Cycle De-escalation, Withdrawer Re-engagement and Pursuer Softening. You can see we cover some content each day and we’ll also take questions regarding the material. After all, most therapists come to EFT after being grounded in other treatment approaches and it’s natural to compare and contrast in learning a new approach.

We demonstrate the model by showing and discussing videos showing various expert EFT practitioners so you have the chance to see how we all bring ourselves as therapists and use the model differently. We’ll also conduct two live demonstration sessions that will bring the model to life in the moment. Along the way we’ll likely do brief, impromptu role-plays that model specific interventions.

Finally, the practice. During break out role-play sessions, facilitated by an advanced practitioner, you’ll practice basic EFT skills. Even experienced therapists often find it challenging, but tremendously useful, to try out the interventions in this structured, guided, supportive environment. This is often a key element in helping therapists truly grasp the power of the model; not surprisingly, we find that participants learn in their roles as both therapist and client.

Or course it’s not all work! We’ll have some fun along the way and provide an opportunity for folks to meet and network outside the training. Hope you can join us.

A few comments on recent externships:

“Great trainers and additional support from EFT practitioners in the area. Wonderful group of supportive role play leaders that really help to advance your skills.”

 “I am extremely grateful & pleased at the breadth and depth of knowledge of both couples therapy and EFT. Both facilitators were very accessible and provided safety for the work. There honestly isn’t anything that I found lacking or frustrating.”

“Excellent. Loved the roleplay, real, interactive style of both presenters.”

“My individual goal was to translate this model from head knowledge to embodied knowledge. The role plays were extremely helpful for me to know what it looks like and feels like to practice this model. Thanks!”

“I really enjoyed you both. It was very safe, supportive and enriching, professionally and personally. Thank you!”

1.  EFT is a research-validated approach to couple therapy: Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy was developed in the mid-1980’s by Dr. Les Greenberg and Dr. Sue Johnson. Since that time, dozens of outcome and process studies have demonstrated its effectiveness with a wide variety of populations and presenting problems. For more info on research: www.iceeft.com/images/PDFs/EFTResearch.pdf

2.  A clearly delineated treatment model: The stages of treatment are clearly specified, beginning with De-escalation through Re-structuring to Consolidation, giving you a clear map for intervening with couples to facilitate lasting change.

3.  An attachment view of couple distress: Couples high in conflict or disengagement can be challenging for any therapist. Attachment theory provides a powerful organizing lens that will help you understand the most common ways couples express relational distress.

4.  Skills to work deeply with emotion: In EFT, emotion is both target and agent of change. A skilled EFT therapist evokes core emotions to create powerful enactments and unleash in-the-moment change events that help transform relationships.

5.  Specialized training in couple therapy: Many mental health professionals receive scant training in couple therapy. And yet relationship distress is one of the most common reasons for entering therapy and increasingly, couples are seeking therapists trained in EFT.

6.  Improvement in general psychotherapy skills: EFT’s humanistic orientation will likely enhance your ability to create a strong alliance that engages clients in the change process.

7.  A meaningful, competence-driven certification process: ICEEFT has laid out a training process and requirements for the demonstration of competence that insure certified EFT therapists have met a high standard of EFT practice.

8.  Eligibility for membership in ICEEFT: The International Centre for Excellence in EFT includes members from around the world and maintains a directory of practitioners who have begun formal EFT training and those who are certified. ICEEFT also publishes a quarterly newsletter and maintains an active member listserve.

9.  A growing therapeutic community: Join almost 300 therapists who have participated in CCEFT Externships over the past 4 years and thousands more who have taken part at trainings around the country and across the world. Locally, EFT therapists support each other through peer consultation, a mutually supportive learning atmosphere and client referrals.

 10.  28 ceu’s: The training virtually fulfills the biennial continuing education requirement for license renewal for social workers, licensed counselors, psychologists and marriage and family therapists in Illinois. By the way, this is about the equivalent of a 2 credit-hour college course – especially if you do the recommended preparatory and follow-up reading.